a cure for the lanas

wow, happened, faster than i though. garrett says this is what the kids like. 60 million views seems to support this theory.

lana, I do like the bad girls, too

this morning, i’m declaring myself officially haunted by lana del rey.  i’m pretty sure that i can blame this almost entirely on the giant 4′ x 4′ billboards that have been canvasing my neighborhood for the past week or so.  you know that one, see below, where that attractive? porcelain face is gazing oh so slightly downward at me, with red bra so purposely partially peeking through that very contrived high-collared shirt.  oh lana, it’s you it’s you it’s all for you.  once i fall victim to this gaze, right outside my front door by the way, my  brain instantly begins reciting those sultry-voiced lyrics to video games – go and play your video gaaames.  so, naturally, when i get on the bus i dial up the song on rhapsody and lose my self into a tranced state of obsession.  i don’t know how all of this feeling is currently possible given my initial complete disdain for the woman after watching her disastrous snl performance from a few weeks ago.  (oh god, it’s so much worse on 2nd viewing)  but, that image too now sits firmly in my conscious. again a very contrived look with the long white evening dress,  vintage hairstyle,  requisite hipster wrist tattoos.  but somehow it elicits other very haunting images from my past, which consist of 1) the long-limbed “head” alien at the end of close encounters of the 3rd kind (can’t find a very good photo of this) and 2) galadriel’s ghostly transformation when she is tempted by frodo and the ring at the mirror pool.   and, now I have a third.  dear lana, maybe one day i will pull up in my fast car and whistle your name.  or, more likely they’ll change the damn billboards in the mission to the next neighborhood craze and i’ll thankfully forget all about you.

welcome frodo baggins from the shire, the one who has seen the EYE!

let’s make some fucking crabs, captain

well, it’s been awhile since the last post.  I was under the impression that I was searching for “inspiration” in the new year, something fresh to get the juices flowin’ ya know?  well, sometimes maybe getting back to the basics is the best approach.  so I’ll dedicate this post to all things crab.  funny that in “all” this time this is the first post of me actually making crab, in my own house.  enjoy.   oh, and in other news, sober january is over,  and once again did not last all of january.  so let’s get those saturdays back in action.

first up, was our friend mr. bubbles.  a plump 2-lber from the venerable sun fat seafood market on mission and 23rd.

hey, you trying to get in my whole?

 

and then after some asexual sink masturbation, bubbles begat bubblettes….

meanwhile, back at crab town

thrown in an authentic street-purchased tamale steamer…

it's been tough for tamale lady in this economy

and our little blue friends become, still very ugly, little fred friends…

Goooo Bayside!!

Which then after some de-carapussing, de-gilling, and de-gutting, you get a pile of delicious crab legs.

look at those gams

the end.  thanks for reading

mission doors

are doors the new crab?  it’s fun take pictures of them, anyway.  please see others here.

 

it’s christmas, the dogs are tired.

fresh from the delancey street ex-cons. 3' of natural pine and a collection of very unnatural decor from dank chinese factories

when marshall dreams, he dreams of butt sniffing

where do the celebrities congregate in sf?

Britex fabrics, of course. with some wearing sleeves in an old cardigan, I went in search of elbow patches at this famed downtown fabrics shop – who knew it had such celebrity? for my purposes, they’re doing a lot better at getting “a-listers” (tracy ullman?) in the door than they are at stocking actual useful merchandise. total number of elbow patch options available? 1. at least it was a color I was happy with.

Shoes on Bart redux.

Back by popular demand.